Surviving A Lawsuit & Learning To Stand My Ground
I recently attended an old friend’s housewarming party and there I befriended an upbeat and humorous gal over a now inside joke about clams. In our conversation about our life paths, I casually brought up a story about my previously owned business and how it ended in a lawsuit.
She was taken aback. She had never met anyone before who had been sued. It was even a fear of hers in moving to LA because she heard how “sue-happy” people can be out here. Enthralled in my story, she asked a hundred questions and told every person who happened to pass through our conversation about it. It was hilarious. But that’s beside the point.
This is my story about going through a lawsuit. There have been countless life lessons tied in to this chapter of my life and so I am here to share my story about trusting your gut, knowing your worth, and feeling empowered to stand up against bullying.
To give you a little background about the situation: When I was 22, I started a small business. An acquaintance of mine who considered himself a small investor, saw an opportunity and offered some startup cash and business guidance. It sounded great! I was eager and excited to begin so I took him up on the offer and my business was born.
What started out as hopeful, began going sour rather quickly. It was after my first few disappointments and clashes with this business partner that made me realize I needed to draft a business contract to protect myself. It was silly for me to not have drafted a contract earlier, but I thought I would be able to trust this person and either he felt the same about me or he was playing on my naivety.
After several years of struggle, loss of trust, empty promises, and seeing several of his other investments end terribly, I decided I needed an exit strategy. My options as I saw them were to stay in business with a person I didn’t trust or confront him with a dissolution and face a lawsuit. I knew these were my options because I had seen him threaten to sue individuals before. In my opinion, this person didn’t understand what it meant to be an investor. Or at least he wasn’t willing to accept that investments, unless otherwise stated, are risks that may not result in profit and can even result in loss of money. (Good thing for that contract!)
After realizing what my options were, KNOWING I had nothing to lose, and talking it over with friends numerous times, it still took me, idk…maybe a year or so to even go through with proposing a dissolution because let’s face it, lawsuits can be scary. I was about to give up my first business. Even in knowing I was doing the right thing, I was still terrified of the outcome.
There finally came a point where I had enough. Things were starting to fizzle out, so I scheduled a meeting with him to talk exit strategy. This meeting did not exactly end well. He was angry at my decision and he threatened to sue. Just as I knew he would. But I was ready…sort of.
In the following weeks, there was an exchange of emails between us that often left me in tears. He was attempting to bully me in to giving him the money he lost in the investment, even though per the contract, I owed him nothing. The thing I’ve learned about bullies is that they believe if they speak louder than you and their words are frightening enough, they can convince you into giving them what they want. But you must stand your ground. You cannot give in. And I didn’t.
It got to a point where I thought it would be best if I sought some legal counsel, so I reached out to a friend who happens to be an attorney for guidance. I honestly cannot thank this person enough for the help they so kindly offered. He was able to confirm that per our contract, I owed my business partner nothing.
In times of need, my attorney helped me remain professional in my correspondence and not show emotion in my emails. I think it’s a good habit for people to cry it out behind closed doors, so you can remain professional in person during conflict. My lack of an emotional reaction made my business partner even more angry. Although it wasn’t my initial intention, things eventually got to a point where my attorney had to step in and write my business partner a letter asking him to end communication with me and communicate solely with my attorney moving forward.
We spent almost a year trying to come to a compromise that seemed suitable for the both of us. I think I was being too nice in even offering him anything at this point. But that’s just me. I’m a nice person. A lot of the hassle included returning all product to his ownership, which was fine, and paying a small fee, which I felt was unnecessary, but I thought it could help in ending things amicably. I was wrong.
Later that year, we were ready to finalize the deal and draft up a dissolution contract. It was at that point that my business partner stopped responding. For 6 weeks, we tried to reach him to close the deal. Assuming he withdrew from the process, I retracted my offer. My attorney sent him one final letter stating that due to his absence from finalizing the agreement, we were retracting our offer and if he wanted to get anything out of me, he would have to do it in court.
A month or so went by without hearing from my old business partner and I thought I was in the clear. Then one afternoon, while I was home, I heard a knock on my door and I opened it to see a stranger standing in front of me holding an envelope that contained my court papers. I got served. This person also offered their services as a mediator to settle out of court. (No thanks!) Given what I’d already been through and having made up my mind, I declined.
Reviewing the papers, I thought long and hard about filing a counter suit for harassment, coercion and perjury. But I didn’t want money. I didn’t want to stoop to his level, I just wanted it all to be over. I spent the period between that moment and my court date gathering documents, emails, financial records, and anything I could think of to support my case. A final meeting with my attorney to write up my counter argument helped me feel prepared and confident, although I was still a little nervous.
Here is a selfie from the morning of my court date.
The day before my court date, I went out and got my hair blown out because I feel more powerful with straight hair. The morning of, I listened to Sia’s “Unstoppable” on repeat while getting ready. I put on my power suit, complete with heels and red lipstick, and headed to the courtroom with my game face on.
When I got there, I saw him in the lobby. My stomach dropped, but I didn’t let it show (I don’t think). It was the first time I had seen him since our meeting over a year prior. If you’ve never been to court, know that you must present each other with all your supporting case documentation so neither person can be caught off guard at the stand. So we proceeded to do so. Talking to him was excruciating. But guess what…
He. Had. Nothing.
It quickly became clear he had no idea what he was doing, and he had never expected it to go this far. In my over preparedness, I felt only more confident I would win this case.
We sat patiently in court waiting for our case to be called. It was a dreadful process. THEN, after a couple hours passed, he got up from his seat, walked over to me, shook my hand, basically said “have a nice life” and left. I couldn’t believe it! I was ecstatic. I had just won without even having to plea my case. Before lunch broke, I went up to the judge, informed him that the plaintiff had left, and he dismissed the case. A wave of relief washed over me.
You ever hear the phrase, “Don’t sweat the small stuff”? Of course you have. And to this day I take that phrase to heart more than ever. In that moment I realized that all the grief and drama leading up to this day was just a ruse to get money out of me, and that all the time I spent sweating the small stuff was completely unnecessary.
There are two ways to learn a lesson, the easy way or the hard way. I prefer the hard way. After everything I went through with this experience, I’m glad I did. I learned so many valuable lessons. I feel more confident and more prepared to take on difficult situations. I learned to trust my instincts, as I experienced so many intuitive kicks that I brushed off along the way. I learned how to be prepared in any business transaction and not allow myself to be taken advantage of. But most importantly, I learned my worth and the benefit of standing my ground and standing up to bullies.